Fire in the sky. Picture taken in San Jose in Cabo de Gata.
‘Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment.’ Mahatma Ghandi.
I want to ask you some questions. Come on a little exploratory embodied journey with me!
Please find a quiet place where you can sit undisturbed. Ask yourself the following questions. Try not to overthink it and trust your immediate response. Pay attention to your inner sensations. Allow yourself to feel, for example, changes in your body temperature, pulsations, and tingling sensations and allow space for your imagination. This way, you can embark on an embodied enquiry.
You can have a piece of paper and a pen with you so you can write your answers.
You can review them once you finish. Once you do that, also notice how the experience reverberates in your body.
Here we go:
1) Do you trust your instinct and gut feeling? If so, how?
2) Do you trust your power? If so, how?
3) Do you rely heavily on people’s advice? If so, how?
4) Do you often look for approval? If so, how?
5) Do you often judge yourself or others? If so, how?
6) Do you hold back from challenging others? If so, how?
7) Do you take responsibility for yourself? If so, how?
8) Do you often feel victimised? If so, how?
9) Do you often repress your anger? If so, how?
10) Do you remember how it feels to say YES when you really mean it? Please recall a memory of an episode when you said YES wholeheartedly to yourself and something that felt good or pleasant to you. Perhaps you followed your instinct and intuition. Can you identify the sensations? How did it feel in your body? What were the signs? How can you enhance this positive cycle?
11) Do you remember how it feels to say NO when you really mean it? Please recall a memory of an episode when you said NO wholeheartedly to something that did not feel good or appropriate to you. Can you identify the sensations? How did it feel in your body? What were the signs?
12) Do you remember how it feels to say YES when you want to say NO?
What are the sensations? How is your body letting you know? How does it feel in your belly and solar plexus area? Maybe you realise often that you don’t follow your gut! How can you break this vicious cycle?
Ok, this is a long list of questions. You can go back to it any time you need it.
Do you feel like taking an extra step? You could also put music on and move or dance with this enquiry to involve your intelligence in motion.
And suppose you are aware that sometimes you give your energy away (because you depend too much on people’s advice and lose your centre or say yes too often). In that case, you can imagine reclaiming that life force and pulling it back towards you. Move with it. Or you can make a NO dance, using your hands and arms, or a YES dance! Be creative with that, make shapes and find gestures! Have fun! Dare to give yourself full permission. No censorship here!
Include your voice if you wish, whispering the YESs and NOs, or the circumstances you are saying yes or no to and want inside or outside your circle.
And if you want to go even more wild, experiment with open stances and power postures and sense what it is the shape, unique to you, of being in your power!
You may also notice how connecting with movement, music, and your voice intentionally may help you to shift states and mood. Perhaps you will feel more empowered at the end of this practice.
In the next few days, I invite you to continue to pay attention to these questions. And please, do it with curiosity!
Study yourself. Notice your patterns. Make a list of situations when you feel drained or seek approval.
I also want to add that those of us who used to have considerable energy, lots of passion and a big fire when we were younger learn to tend to a different inner fire as we grow older. The flame is still bright; perhaps it goes inward before it again enters the world. Most of the women I speak to need to slow down, stop the addiction to being busy and trust the process of being in the unknown. They are cultivating a different kind of fire that needs to be cherished kindly inside versus acting it out in the form of doing that leads to burnout. From this place, new gifts will be offered to the world.
On the other hand, in my experience, a great way to channel fire is creativity. Whether through dancing, writing or riding your bike at sunset, a free flow of expression will allow you to move this energy. Find an outlet; let it move poetically and passionately rather than use it against yourself or others. I know how painful it is to use it against oneself in the form of harsh criticism.
Sometimes to feel the fire in our soul is a lonely path.
When we start embody our truth more deeply, others may react or kick and scream, or we may lose friends (especially when we place healthy boundaries and find our voice). For those who felt engulfed as children or whose space was infringed upon, it is essential to reclaim one’s space and limits.
When we embody more of our fire, instinct and power, we can also have more peaceful, life-affirming and healthy relationships with the world around us. We may stop needing to convince or criticise others. And we can even encounter authority figures and learn to own our feelings and opinions, knowing they are as valuable as theirs. And finally, we can start to validate, approve and love ourselves in a more genuine and compassionate way.
As within so without.
So, dear ones, that’s it. These themes are complex, and there is more to say, and I will write more about it. I am learning to be more succinct in these letters, so you can thoroughly read and digest them.
Thank you so much for being with me!
Let me know how this lands and what your experience is. I always love to hear from you